The first love
--
“Before tagging an attraction…”
We were summer neighbors
We were preteens
We knew each other for more summers
From when we were younger.
I wasn’t aware of it
But there was a summer
Which I looked at her
With other eyes.
I felt something towards her
I knew that I liked her
But there was no goal
No label to put.
I didn’t feel nervous
I didn’t feel butterflies in my stomach
We played together and enjoyed ourselves.
We were so young
When you fall in love and you don’t know it,
I think we had not discovered
Still sexuality.
It was easy
Slowly
Between bike rides
Between racket games
Between board games.
Conversing naturally
We talked and it was enough
Being together with others or alone.
No one knew about my attraction
Maybe he was attracted to me too
But I didn’t give any sign.
It was a missed opportunity
To experience the feminine
Before the veil of labels.
She still had no makeup
We were on the threshold
In that sexual attraction
It conditions you through culture
We must have been 11 years old.
We spent a lot of time together
I discovered a new sensation
An attraction to that friend
Margaret was called.
There was neither rush nor expectation
Everything was standard, games of friends.
She was the first friend who was more than a friend
But he wasn’t too aware of it.
The heart commanded
There was no reason
There was no label to that feeling
Attraction only
Just enjoy being together.
I sneaked it
Not voluntarily
I didn’t need to explain it.
